airplane snacks & spoiled brats

 @ what [00:00] do airplane lights decide to dim? 

Window Seat requests a snack pack. The flight attendant says “there’s no food on the plane”, while handing out stroopwafels & First Class eats chicken for dinner, “an unprecedented storm before one of the busiest weekends of the year…anything to drink?”

“water, please” I, Middle Seat, respond verbally & in sign language (which looks like I’m tapping my chin, thinking too hard about my choice). 

Airplanes, loud enough that everything is muffled quiet. A blue plastic cup of chilled water is passed my way. 

 “thank you” Middle Seat respond’s verbally & in sign language (which looks like blowing a kiss).

“ginger ale, please” says Aisle Seat. Middle Seat instantly regrets choice, then tosses water into the remainder of latte. The evergreen matcha sediment rises from the bottom into a brown murk that looks anything but satiating. chugs it down, not too bad.

I reread Matt’s chapter on airplanes, also not too bad. He writes,

“you are flying, so unnatural a human condition that anything you need to do to get through it is pardoned”.

My airplane vice-sweets; 

sugar rushed dopamine high sweetens the deal of being on travel time. 

On the way to the airport I read a Joy Sullivan post. She discussed unprecedented luck experienced during her holiday travels, then referred to herself as,

 “decidedly not the universe's spoiled brat”. 

I order myself a second iced latte upon being notified of this flights now fifth delay of the day,  & think to myself on the airport moving walkway, 

 “I am my own spoiled brat”.

 I like to sweeten the deal with myself for doing the work of showing up, even when I’d rather flake & stay in bed (or maybe it’s just impulse control). 

Today I’ve done-

• 3 sugar sweetened caffeinated beverages

• approximately 12 sour patch watermelon gummies

• 5 Milano cookies

• one shameless stroopwafel. 

            Sugar should be dripping out my nose, frosting the tip of nostril like a Coca-Cola head. 

gotta’ pee, BRB…

Flight attendants are angels among us, mind readers  responding to our privileged needs before we even know we have ‘em. 

Twice today, flight attendants knew what I needed before I did. 

Once at the airport, as we both waited for our iced lattes by the barista stand;

 she passed me a stack of napkins which have served my sugar binges well.

Then again, just now, on the plane as I waited doing the stand up cross legged drank two lattes and gotta go now dance by a lavatory door that said  “red dot” for a few minutes too long.

A flight attendant made eye contact with me from across the aisle- 

“there’s a bathroom up here”, she motions my way.

ah-relief, instant gratification.

We are all the flight attendants spoiled brats.

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