chaos

 Sound dripped out of the mouth in double knot tongue ties 

gasping for consonance, searching for consciousness, this body, this mouth, 

where does mouth connect to epiglottis then esophagus trachea larynx , diaphragm , lungs singing 

drop down into diaphragm, push sound upward, 

back toward its original entrance, becomes exit, mouth made sound, 

ears heard the sound that received language, and the brain told it so’ 

First there was a sound, but where did sound first enter body? 

Listening to noise. Being noisy. Always noise. 

No beginning, no end-heard or not heard 

noise informs of chaos          no beginning, no end

at first there was a sound 

heart beating then              beat of a drum 

at first there was a sound and the sound was a beat that can’t be stopped

it made a choice to show up           to be here           chaos

 without beginning        without end

 imagine beginning of the word              imagine end of the word 

imagine before the beginning                after the end of the word, what exists? 

What becomes in the nothingness of the word? 

A question incapable to wrap the human mind around if

at the core we are chaos creating without a beginning without an end 

at first there was a word                        “woah” 

finally opened eyes and admired 

opened ears and listened

opened fingertips and touched ourselves 

opened nostrils and inhaled 

opened mouths and salivated

opened hearts and felt that chaotic, “woah”

 

at first there was a starting place, you… 

 

A human who lives in a world kind of like this but a little different,

 a human whose role is to live

Avant gard doer of mundane and simple tasks               like jigsaw puzzles

Holds each piece up to the light then wonders “why?”

Attuned to the nuances of each piece    discovering where it fits as part of the whole

A being who breathes,

Inhale 5                 exhale 5

wind blowing always movement the movement

the sound this sound 

Open eyes,

Let mind open on it’s own time.

Trust mind will find body.

When it does. 

Soles of feet touch ground, in a world kind of like this but a little different

somewhere over the rainbow 

unmeasurable by unreliable hourglass timers

 Legs rise from sand dusted dreams, towards whatever today brings. 

 

Coffee. Sit a little, stay a little, 

watch world begin it’s unmaking through window before joining in. 

Discover the rainbow, watch it fade                      the gradual fade of time

watch clock just long enough it remains a friend.

create more laundry in the process of finding armor for the day that feels just right.

pack a  lunch, march forward. 

Question landmarks that make each morning passing by.

Give self enough time to unmake each mundane moment,    into wonder worth welcoming, 

Light luminarias illuminating newness of now in reverence for the gradual fade of time

unmake  routines into rituals, to-do’s into reason to be , re-become.

 

Sleep once upon a timeless death returned to day after day

after becomes a continuation of chaos                        no beginning to end 

just another stepping stone on this breadcrumb trail, 

Try to enjoy the view at least,

Taste the breadcrumbs, soles of feet curve over stones lost on purpose 

find self in chaos reflected back in the rippling creek 

Wondering  when body found itself over water 

in The No Beginning No End            

                   

Awaken

Sand time, snow time, what time even measures today? 

Eyelids droop under weight of sand ticking, the gradual fade of time,

Sand lingers in upper chamber, stuck, even the sand timer pressed snooze, 

on all of tasks to be, to do,

where does the glass of time concave                when does each grain of sand to do 

drip down into lower chamber of body and become tasks to be? 

gravitational pull of time fades slower today than yesterday, 

A sand timer onced flipped felt like time never ending,

 Now , that same sand timer flipped yet again ,  feels like hustle and grind never ending. 

 

Energy at once infinite    now infinitesimal                 DNA born with at timed lifespan,

The body slows down adapting to new mRNA 

the abounding distance still to travel, 

keep all eyes open, expecting unpredictability

 

Black ice, the bruise,

The incessant burden of being

It winters in cycles

Cold hearted awakenings to mornings dark somber unrest 

There used to be joy that lived in this body, now this body survival mode waiting

Had enough cold mornings and everything scrambled except the eggs, 

had enough restless nights and foggy brain-daze,

 had enough of this box, had enough not enough, 

enough working through the day job to fuel the passion project;

Did you include on your resume, “burnt out but still here,”

burnt out but still trying relentlessly to find purpose being here,

Walk away, walk away from the need to have hand held under lifes gun 

being tattooed with each moment become memory

etched in subconscious               memories made trying to pass the gradual fade time 

pass the time in permanent ink 

Forgetfulness results in complacency

this poem a tattoo permanent on the page  

Reminder there once was a Now

Now there is ink on a page and words in your ear

 The ink is lost             time is passing,          forever skipping a beat,          let go, 

let go of the hand of Miachelangelo on the Sistine Chapel, 

disrupt the Patriarchal Paradigm 

a new world began when the Vatican replaced men touching fingertips with

ladies touching clits,

This canvas, blank and ready after all

This paint, top off and dripping,

This canvas open to all marks

Skid marks and doodles, pen and ink, scribbles, 

Illustrious, ill, lust, illustrate us

Pruning bodies submerged in the bathtub of continuous present

this busy life always beating the rhythm of daily hum drums

busy human hearts  find one another 

find meaning in motion 

create meaning to unstoppable beat 

that urges return to body

hair slicked in sweat 

blood circulates hearts wired for connection, unstoppable 

beat of collaboration 

microcosm of what social coherence could be 

if the world remembered its own beat 

the beat which cannot be stopped must be heard 

 

Find the simplest notes, play them well

Play them like there's a body somewhere whose life depends on hearing ‘em

 

This busy life always in motion

busy lives find time to find each other in motion 

step out of the hustle                              step into the grind 

returning to spaciousness of the body 

Fingertips, dexterities, intertwine, laced between each toe pressing 

back arched toes arched grounded expanding

gurgle of hunger pangs reverberate insatiable need to 

swallow down eternal changing

Mind finds muse to latch onto, then when the muse is gone, 

mind finds itself up to it’s own devices  

feeling illusion of stagnation                breaking down to breakthrough. 

Nothing still always moving, 

embodying chaotic creation 

activating muse of each moment to moment       tangerine dream

illumination in your eyes            looking glass        dragonfly         moonwalk

Indigo clouds play the backdrop for early evening dragonfly show

The performers dip and transcend, glide, turn, dart, 

without crashing into one another, 

dancing in tune with the rhythm of chaotic movements,

change directions, 

Aerial View

changing directions, all changing directions, in coherence.

Make a shrine for worship outside this body 

Light the shadows, burn the body in flickering 

fuses of desire demanding now, please

under dragonfly acrobatics 

fluttering the sound of earth in motion 

Above human hearts fluttering tummy twisted fireflies

Singing that great hallelujah to the birds and bees

Listen to the gospel sing. 

trailblazing this uncertain path

chaos finds repetition then let’s it go

chaos forgets itself then remembers it’s own rhythm primal 

becomes tuned out by the noisiness of everyone’s chaos creating 

Tunes inward to the beat of our own rhythm primal

all of its busy noisy busy movements 

busy bodies being a beat beating into one another’s rhythm primal 

maybe meditation is uncomfortable because the core is not silent 

at the core         a chaos         never still          always in motion 

shadows show a moment in time that does not stay still.

busy noisy busy movements busy bodies beating 

at the core              never still        always in motion 

Story of  inner knower begs to be expressed,

 moves from body      out into   world through each limb, 

muscle twitch, skin dipped canyon, flesh shaking , perspiring precipitation

Alchemical veins web between worlds into perception of common ground

Walk these veins like a tightrope head held high, looking away from the impermanence of it all

Alchemical veins circulate aphrodisiac adrenaline

Watch these clumsy feet take up space and reverberate the taut rope of being with each step.

Breaking down to Breakthrough

All here, all hear, mouth splits apart ever so softly 

uttering communication beyond words

Widening SilenceBreathtaking Circularity

That precious space of mutual silence

To enter                          Then settle

Is it sacrilege to dance when the music has stopped

Big movements become scary when the world is stagnant

Big feelings suppressed to market this mask of being

Free soul of sanity, it does not belong to these feet,  their sway 

enraptured by the whirlwind, brought along for the ride,

discovering all the ways a whirlwind moves when nobodies watching

dissecting seed pods

Scraping the skin

Trying to crack

The pit. 

Sun ablaze wildflower in the sky

Meet me in the ethers at the coordinates of your souls original home;